I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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