In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
