im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
