so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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