I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
