I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
