i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
