Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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