I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
