i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There r osticjed everywhere
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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