Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
