it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The Olympian is in my bed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
