Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
