I'm gonna have a badass scar
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
