This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
