I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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