i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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