I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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