You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
