i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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