Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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