Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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