There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
