i permit you to call me
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
