Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
