flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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