she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
