kristin has been a bad kristin
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
