They should really pass out barf bags in church
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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