Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
