check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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