I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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