I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
