i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We have so much sex to catch up on
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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