My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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