I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
