by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize
