This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
