i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
