Having a random hookup so left but love u
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
