tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
