'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
