I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
