dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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