Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
