But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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