I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
