Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
