what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
