I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
