My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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