Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
