I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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